2017-08-14 430阅读
大家都知道,处理消极情绪最有效方式之一是“放轻松”。如果你悲伤,找一个大笑的理由。如果你生气,去开个玩笑。不过,做比说要难。
I&aposm working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone&aposs project will look different, but it&aposs the rare person who can&apost benit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now.
我正在进行我的“快乐项目”,你也应该有一个!每个人的项目看上去都不同,但是绝大多数人都会从中受益——不需要努力赶超,只要立刻参与。
I had a chance to keep my resolution to "Make a joke of it" last night. As a consequence of certain marital negotiations last year (not conducted in the most happiness-boosting way, I must confess), my husband took on the job of dealing with my daughter&aposs adventure in orthodontia. The orthodontist&aposs office is right around the corner from his office, and he agreed that he&aposd schedule the appointments and take her. Which was GREAT!
上周,我有一个机会得以运用“一笑了之”。按照去年的家庭协议(我得承认,这协议并不是在一片祥和的气氛中签订的),我丈夫负责女儿牙齿矫正术的事项。牙齿校正医生的办公室就在他的办公室拐角,丈夫同意由他安排时间带她去。这真太棒了!
On our flight to Kansas City for the holidays, the Big Girl lost her "functional applicance" (the new-fangled thing she wears in her mouth, except when she&aposs eating). We looked everywhere on the plane; it was gone. We got back home a week later, and the Big Man didn&apost call to make an appointment. Days went by. I reminded him periodically, but nothing happened.
在我们去堪萨斯度假的航班上,我千金把她的“设备”(就是她嘴里戴的新鲜玩意,吃东西时得取下来)弄丢了。我们在飞机上四处找遍了还是没有。一周后我们回到家,大男人没有打牙医电话预约。时间一天天过去。我隔一段时间就提醒他,但是他无动于衷。
Whenever I thought about this delay, I became extremely annoyed. Last night, I stomped into our bedroom ready to turn on my anger at full volume. "This really matters, this is important, she&aposs growing now, what&aposs the point, it&aposs expensive, she&aposll only have to have braces longer, you promised you&aposd do it, " etc., etc., etc. Then I thought, "Make a joke of it."
一想起他的拖拉,我就十分恼怒。昨晚,我跺着脚进卧室,准备大发雷霆。“这真的很要紧,很重要,她正在发育,而且,那很贵,她只得再等下去,而你答应过会去做。”等等,等等。可又一想,干脆“一笑了之”。
So I went over, put my arm around the Big Man, and said nicely, “You know what? If you don&apost call the orthodontist&aposs tomorrow, I&aposm going to be furious, I&aposm going to be enraged, I&aposm going to be beside myself. I&aposm not threatening, just giving you fair warning.” And I laughed while I said it.
于是我走过去,用手臂搂着他,温柔地说:“你知道吗?如果你明天还不给校正牙医打电话。我会很生气。我会发怒,我不知道会做出什么事情。我可没威胁你,只是给你一个公正的警告”。我边说还一边笑。
"I know, I know!" he said, shaking his head. "I&aposll send myself an email right now." And he did. And today he made the appointment.
他摇了摇头说:“知道,知道啦!我现在就给自己发一封邮件。” 他还真发了。今天他约好了医生。
I&aposm not sure if making a joke of it was more fective than getting angry, but I don&apost think it was less fective. And it was a much nicer way to have that unpleasant exchange. I was happier about it, and the Big Man was happier about it.
我不确定说笑会不会比愤怒更奏效,但是我相信效果不会更差。而且比让人不愉快的交流方式好得多。我对这个方法更满意;大男人也一样。
I used the same technique on myself last weekend. I had a bunch of dreaded, dull tasks to take care of. I told myself, "I&aposm going to clear away a lot of these chores in the next two days. It&aposs going to be the &aposWeekend of the Dreaded Tasks&apos! Like the &aposRodents of Unusual Size, &apos in The Princess Bride." As I groaned to myself as I put away the holiday decorations, organized my address list for our Valentine&aposs cards, finally dealt with the mail that came when we were out of town, and other things too dull to mention, I repeated to myself, "Oh well, this is the Weekend of the Dreaded Tasks." And just making that little joke to myself made it easier to tackle those tasks.
上周末我对自己采用了相同的方法。我有一堆烦人无聊的事情要做。我对自己说:“我明后两天把这些杂活都做掉。这将是‘恐怖任务周’!就好像The Princess Bride书中的‘超大型啮齿动物’”。我一边自个儿抱怨一边把节日饰物放好、整理情人节卡片的地址、最后处理不在家时收到的邮件,等等,其他的事情我都懒得再提。我反复告诉自己:“好吧,这是恐怖任务周。” 就这样,给自己编一个笑话,事情便更容易处理了。
Of course, I recognize that in neither case when I kept my resolution to "Make a joke of it" was I really funny. My jokes weren&apost funny at all. But just the attempt to take a humorous attitude made a huge difference.
当然,我承认,在遵守“一笑了之”的决意中,我并不觉得有趣。我的笑话一点也不好笑。但采用一个幽默的态度却能让情况有很大改观。
It&aposs easy to say "make a joke of it, " but it&aposs hard to do when you&aposre feeling angry, scared, bored, or upset. Have you found a way to get yourself to make a joke?
说“一笑了之”容易,但是当你感到愤怒、害怕、无聊或烦心的时候要做到很难。你找到了一个让自己开玩笑的方法吗?
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