2017-08-07 305阅读
下面这篇在2004年考过两次,内容比较难写,很多考生都构思不出内容,因此,我请我的美国朋友按照雅思作文的套路写了篇雅思写作9分范文点评,大家可以学习一下里面的语言和内容。
Unlike most countries, the police in the United Kingdom do not normally carry guns. Some people think it leaves the citizens unprotected, while others believe that this practice reduces the overall violence in society. Discuss both views and use your own experience and evidence.
Unlike most countries, the police in the United Kingdom do not normally carry guns. Some people think it leaves citizens unprotected, while others believe that this practi c e reduces the overall violence in society. Police having guns however is an issue secondary to criminals having guns. (45words)
结构分析: 2+ 1 ’ 模式,最后一句为主题句,明确地表达了自己的观点。但是,前两句的问题很严重,即照抄了题目。(这可能是我和老外没有沟通好,在他所写的所有例文中都出现了类似的情况,大家千万不要学!!!)
Because criminals usually have access to guns, police officers need them in order to control crime. If police in the U.K. are able to go without guns and not have crime getting completely out of control then they have already set a fine example that other countries should follow. The fact that they are able to do this is an indication of their ability to control the flow of guns to the general populace and this makes citizens safer than anything else. To a civilian, taking guns away from criminals is more important than giving them to police. (98words)
For places that are not able to, or are unwilling to control this availability of guns to criminals, police have no choice. Countries with weak or infective gun laws, or countries bordering such countries, like Mexico which has strong gun laws, but virtually no way to prevent them from being smuggled over the border from the U.S., need a police force that is not only armed, but is armed better than the criminals. This ‘domestic arms race’ is the fate of any country that does not realize that civilians have no need of being armed and should have no access to weapons whatsoever.(103words)
The root of the problem is embarrassingly corrupt governments and infective half-measures taken to control the circulation of guns, which allows criminals to easily come into possession of guns. Nations around the world should hope to someday reach the point where their police force can afford not to carry guns and still be fective. (54words)
文章后几段结构比较清晰,未加点评,红色部分为段落主题句。
以上就是警察佩戴枪支的雅思写作9分范文点评的相关介绍,结构,语法以及词汇都有所侧重,最后祝大家都能考出好成绩。
Copyright 2000 - 2020 北京澳际教育咨询有限公司
www.aoji.cn All Rights Reserved | 京ICP证050284号
总部地址:北京市东城区 灯市口大街33号 国中商业大厦2-3层
高国强 向我咨询
行业年龄 11年
成功案例 2937人
留学关乎到一个家庭的期望以及一个学生的未来,作为一名留学规划导师,我一直坚信最基本且最重要的品质是认真负责的态度。基于对学生和家长认真负责的原则,结合丰富的申请经验,更有效地帮助学生清晰未来发展方向,顺利进入理想院校。
Tara 向我咨询
行业年龄 6年
成功案例 1602人
薛占秋 向我咨询
行业年龄 10年
成功案例 1869人
从业3年来成功协助数百同学拿到英、美、加、澳等各国学习签证,递签成功率90%以上,大大超过同业平均水平。
Cindy 向我咨询
行业年龄 18年
成功案例 4806人
精通各类升学,转学,墨尔本的公立私立初高中,小学,高中升大学的申请流程及入学要求。本科升学研究生,转如入其他学校等服务。