澳际培训专家从雅思写作的评分标准为出发点，详细的批改了此文，也希望共性的问题能引起同学们的注意!大家可以仔细研究下老师的批注，7分的标准到底是怎样的。我们一起学习吧!

　　Some experts believe that it is better for childrento begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondaryschool.

　　Do the advantages of this outweigh thedisadvantages?

　　Foreign languageshave increasingly gained popularity among studentsthese years, given that the world is shrinking and each country now has a morrequent contact with the outside world. Many people[c1] argue that children should begin learning a foreign language atelementary school, instead of waiting until [c2] they enter secondary school. There are several reasons for this.

　　Firstly, despite the fact that parents donot want to put too much pressure on their children, they also do not want themto lose at the starting line. This means, if the kids start to learn a foreignlanguage early, their parents are relieved from the thought that their kidswill have to catch up later on, which is true to some extent.

　　On the other hand, it is scientificallyproved that children tend to learn a language faster bore the age of 12. Asfar as I know, my friends who started to learn English when they were six orseven now have a much more satisfactory English level than those who started at12 or 13. So it is wise to have foreign language course in primary schoolcurriculum.

　　Additionally, learning a foreign languageat an earlier age can lay children a solid foundation for future studying.Rather than just learning a language itself, children learn a lot more aboutthe learning methods. As a result, when they enter secondary school, they canexplore more languages and enrich their knowledge by extensive readings.

　　The only disadvantage of learning a foreignlanguage at primary school might be one more course and pressure. However,primary schools can introduce advanced teaching methods to tackle this problem,such as playing games and role play, and ensure that children can enjoy thelanguage learning process.

　　In conclusion, the advantages of learningforeign languages at primary school rather than secondary school outweigh thedisadvantages.

　　注释：

　　[c1]people 和expert是有区别的，注意看题目指的是哪类人

　　[c2]til

　　Total: (6.5+6.5+7+7.5)/4=7分

　　(下面评分项里面的小分意在指出你的优势劣势)

　　Task response 6.5 分

　　1. address all parts of the task 7分

　　首先列举的advantages，然后提出disadvantage，紧接着驳斥了这个disadvantage。这一步证明了你都懂题目不仅是要让列举利弊还要做出比较

　　2. present a clear position throughout theresponse. 7分

　　主体赞成利大于弊，并在说弊的时候有力的反驳了 ，最后一段明确提出自己的立场。

　　3. main ideas may be unclear 6分

　　需要改进的段落

　　主体第一段 你写的是家长觉得孩子不能输在起跑线，但是题目里面说的是专家提出这个观点，把家长和专家混在一起，混淆了题目观点的出发角度。这里要扣分。

　　需要保持的段落

　　主体第二段 用你朋友的经历做例子完全可以!只要支持你的论点就行

　　主体第三段 学习一门外语的方法可以应用到其他语言学习上，确实!能看到不同语言的内在联系，很不错!

　　主体第四段 驳斥反方观点并提出一些解决方法

　　4. conclusions may become repetitive 6分

　　不要在结论里面把题目照搬一遍

　　Coherence and cohesion 6.5 分

　　1. logically organize information and ideas7分

　　2. present a clear central topic in eachparagragh 7分

　　我个人比较支持一个段一个点 这样能保持段落长度一致 同时表意清晰

　　3. may use cohesive devices mechanically 6分

　　看下你的 主体段落的开头，一下 firstly 一下on the other hand 一下additionally 这几个连接词属于不同类别 建议使用同类连词，如果是firstly 那后面就用 secondly thirdly, 如果是要用 on the other hand, 前面搭配使用 on the one hand。 否则给读者的印象是你学过连词 但是不太会用。

　　4. 另外代词的使用不错，this, it, they 都能正确使用

　　Lexical resources 7分

　　use a wide range of vocabulary and allowsome flexibility and precision

　　首段的对题目的paraphrase做的相当不错!

　　但是末尾段基本属于照抄题目了，很可能不算在字数里面。建议你学习一下结尾段的写法。

　　定冠词和不定冠词的使用很好

　　活用动词 learnlearning teach teaching

　　形容词副词能正确使用

　　2. use less common vocabulary well

　　popularity foundation curriculum satisfactoryextensive

　　3. use of collocation

　　Lay a solid foundation, language learningprocess, advanced teaching method, extensive readings.

　　Grammar 7.5分

　　use a wide range of structures.

　　简单句 即符合基本主谓宾结构

　　There are several reasons for this.

　　宾语从句 第一段many people argue that xxx第三段 it is scientifically proved that xxx

　　长句 第二段despite of xxx, xxx/ 第四段rather than xxx, xxx

　　第五段 第二句话用and连接的两个句子中间还有插入语 such as xxx

　　时间状语从句 第三段 my friends who xxxx when they were xxx 第四段 when they enter xxx

　　2 the majority of sentences are error free

　　3 make occasional mistakes

　　第四段 Ratherthan learn a language itself 记得要和后半句的动词形态一致，后面已经是原形learn了，用rather than就得用原形。

　　以上是由澳际培训小编为您带来雅思考试的相关介绍。如需进一步了解，或有任何相关疑问，欢迎咨询澳际培训专家。如果您对雅思考试还有疑虑，欢迎参与澳际免费评估系统，以便给您精确定位。

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