2017-07-18 189阅读
摘要:知道什么叫备胎吗?就是挂在汽车背后,可能一辈子也用不到的那个圆圈状的玩意儿。这么说来,备胎可能是一个贬义词,没有人愿意当一个可有可无的备胎,那么,两性关系中,备胎是客观存在的吗?备胎有扶正的可能吗?今天,澳际教育和大家起来探讨一下。
Do you have a special someone who, mainly through social media, implies you might have a romantic relationship someday in the future? Congratulations, you’re in a back burner relationship.
你的生命里是不是有这么一个特殊的存在,你们通过社交网络保持联系,他/她会暧昧地向你表示,也许未来的某一天你们会发展成男女朋友?那么,恭喜你,你也是有备胎的人了! The term “back burner relationship” comes from the phrase “put something on the back burner”, meaning to put something aside for the time being until you’re ready to give it your full attention. The term is used in a recently published study authored by US psychologists Jason Dibble and Michelle Drouin. A back burner, in their dinition, is “a person with whom one is not presently committed and with whom one maintains some degree of communication, in order to keep or establish the possibility of future romantic and/or sexual involvement.”
“备胎(关系)”一词来自短语“把某事置于次要地位”,意为将某事暂时放在一边,待你准备好后再集中精力去处理。该词最近被美国心理学家杰森•迪布尔和米歇尔•德劳因用在其发表的研究中,并将其定义为“没有(男女朋友的)承诺,却与其保持某种程度的联系,以备日后可以发展成男女朋友或是炮友。”
Back burner relationships are nothing new. Keeping in touch with alternative romantic prospects is common. From a biological and evolutionary point of view, exploring all potential mates available can help one to be sure to get the best deal. But there are some interesting findings in Dibble and Drouin’s study. One is that social media makes it much easier to maintain back burner relationships.
这种备胎关系并不稀奇,与可能发展成恋爱关系的人保持联系也十分常见。从生物学与进化的角度来看,与尽可能多的异性保持联系有助于找到最佳伴侣。但是迪布尔与德劳因的研究却有一些有趣的发现,其中之一就是:社交网络让发展备胎变得更容易。
Modern technologies help
现代科技推波助澜
According to The Huffington Post, the two researchers recruited 374 young men and women with the average age of 21. Some of these people were currently in an exclusive romantic relationship, and some were not.
据《赫芬顿邮报》报道,这两位心理学家招募了374名平均年龄21岁的男女进行研究,他们中一些人已经有了男/女朋友,一些人还是单身。
The researchers asked them to report how many back burners they had, whether they talked to them platonically or were more flirty, and what technology they used to keep in touch with these people. Those who were currently in relationships also completed assessments of their investment in and commitment to their relationships, and rated how appealing they thought their back burners were.
研究人员询问他们共有多少备胎?与备胎聊天的方式是纯洁的柏拉图式,还是更为露骨的调情?他们都是通过哪些技术平台与备胎们保持联系?那些已经有男/女朋友的人也被要求对自己在这段感情中的投入和承诺做出评价,同时对备胎们的吸引力进行打分。
The most frequent ways that people kept up with their backburners were through texts and Facebook. Forty-five percent of participants reported texting backburners, 37 percent reported talking to them on Facebook. Thirteen percent of people talked on the phone to the person they were stringing along, and the rest used e-mail, Skype, or Twitter.
(调查发现)短信与Facebook在人们与备胎联系时,使用频率最高。其中45%的受访者使用短信,37%则通过Facebook与备胎聊天,还有13%则是直接给他们的备胎打电话,其余的人或通过e-mail,或用(视频聊天软件)Skype、Twitter与备胎取得联系。
What surprised the researchers was that there was no significant difference between the number of backburners kept by people in relationships, and the number kept by single people. The whole group reported having an average of 5.5 back burners, more of whom they communicated with in a platonic as opposed to a romantic way.
令研究者惊讶的是:有男女朋友的人和单身者所拥有的备胎数量差别不大。受访者每人平均拥有5.5个备胎,而他们与备胎的交流更多的是柏拉图式的聊天,而非谈情说爱。
The study proves that modern technologies make it easy to communicate with back burners. Bore, you would need to meet in person or write a letter to maintain the relationship, leaving a “paper trail”. But now, all you need to do is leave some nice words on your back burner’s social media page and it’s not exactly “cheating” on your partner.
这项研究发现,现代科技使联系备胎变得更容易。以前,你需要与TA见面或是通过写信才能维持关系,留下点“书面记录”。而现在,你只需要在备胎的社交平台主页下说点甜言蜜语就够了。严格来说,这甚至都不算“欺骗”自己的男/女朋友。
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