2017-08-13 266阅读
Patterson offered these tips to keep the office bully at bay:
Patterson 提供了让人们远离欺负者的建议:
1. Don't be rude in return. 不要以“粗”相对
Replying with a snide remark means stooping to the bully's level, and the problem could escalate. 以卑鄙的话回答意味着把自己降低到恶棍的水准,可能导致问题激化。
2. Assume the best. 做最好的假设
Instead of assuming your co-worker is intentionally being rude or inconsiderate, assume he is unaware of how his actions are affecting you. For example, when someone cuts in line in front of you at a movie theater, say something like: "I'm sorry, were you aware that we've been standing here in line?" Presuming innocence avoids an accusation and gets the conversation started off right.
不要假设你的同事故意表现粗鲁或不顾别人,而要假设他并不知道他的行为对你有何影响。例如,当有人在电影院插队,可以说:“抱歉,你意识到我们在排队吗?” 假设对方无辜,可以避免指责并容易展开对话。
3. Separate intentions from outcome. 分清结果和意图
If your co-worker publicly calls you something offensive, bore you respond in-kind, ask yourself: "Why would a decent, rational human being say something like that?" Then, approach your co-worker and say, "I'm sure you didn't intend this, but when you call me ‘honey' it makes me uncomfortable."
如果你的同事公然用侵犯的语言称呼你,在你以同样方式做出回应前,问自己”为什么一个体面、有理智的人会说出那样的话?“ 然后,走到这人旁边问一问:”我想你不是有意这么说,但当你叫我“甜心”,这让我不舒服。“
4. Start with the facts. 从事实开始
When you feel constantly offended by someone's behavior, it's easy to feel victimized or become convinced the bully is out to get you -- but this could lead to a nasty confrontation. Bore you confront the bully by talking about your feelings or making conclusions, stick to the facts: "Often in our team meetings, you demean my ideas. Today, you called my idea stupid." Then proceed to your conclusion, and ask your co-worker for feedback.
当你感到不断被某人冒犯,很容易有受害者的感觉,或者认为这位欺负者故意让你生气。但这可能导致一个不愉快的对峙。在你进行对峙、谈论感受和做出结论之前,从事实开始:” 在我们小组会议时,你总是贬低我的看法,比如今天,你说我的想法很愚蠢。“ 然后,说到你的结论,让对方做出反馈。
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