在GMAT作文的备考过程中，考生需要在大量的练习中不断提升自己的逻辑思维能力和语言表达能力，并通过参照模板来改进GMAT作文的写作方式，以达到提高GMAT作文写作水平的目的。下面澳际留学就来为大家提供一些GMAT作文的点评以及范例。更多相关问题可咨询澳际留学在线专家，如果有任何意见和建议，也请联系我们。

7. The following appeared in the health section of a magazine on trends and lifestyles.

　　“People who use the artificial sweetener aspartame are better off consuming sugar, since aspartame can actually contribute to weight gain rather than weight loss. For example, high levels of aspartame have been shown to trigger a craving for food by depleting the brain of a chemical that registers satiety, or the sense of being full. Furthermore, studies suggest that sugars, if consumed after at least 45 minutes of continuous exercise, actually enhance the body’s ability to burn fat. Consequently, those who drink aspartame-sweetened juices after exercise will also lose this calorie-burning benit. Thus it appears that people consuming aspartame rather than sugar are unlikely to achieve their dietary goals.”

　　Discuss how well reasoned... etc.

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　　逻辑漏洞：

　　(1) 题干中提到的high levels of aspartame have been shown to trigger a craving for food by depleting the brain of a chemical that registers satiety, or the sense of being full 这里只说到高浓度的aspartame会造成人丧失饱腹感，但是并不能就证明这样就会发胖，因此题干是不成立的。

　　(2) 题干中提到high levels of aspartame，这里不能作为一般的情况，因为不是所有人都会使用高浓度的aspartame，因此不能推出结论aspartame不好。

　　(3) 题干中提到if consumed after at least 45 minutes of continuous exercise这个也同样不能作为一般的情况来以偏概全，因为同样，不是所有人都会大量运动之后食用aspartame。不能推出结论。

　　范文：In this argument the author concludes that people trying to lose weight are better off consuming sugar than the artificial sweetener aspartame. To support this conclusion the author argues that aspartame can cause weight gain by triggering food cravings, whereas sugar actually enhances the body’s ability to burn fat. Neither of these reasons provides sufficient support for the conclusion.

　　The first reason that aspartame encourages food cravings is supported by research findings that high levels of aspartame deplete the brain chemical responsible for registering a sense of being sated, or full. But the author’s generalization based on this research is unreliable. The research was based on a sample in which large amounts of aspartame were administered; however, the author applies the research findings to a target population that includes all aspartame users, many of whom would probably not consume high levels of the artificial sweetener.

　　The second reason that sugar enhances the body’s ability to burn fat is based on the studies in which experimental groups, whose members consumed sugar after at least 45 minutes of continuous exercise, showed increased rates of fat burning. The author’s general claim, however, applies to all dieters who use sugar instead of aspartame, not just to those who use sugar after long periods of exercise. Once again, the author’s generalization is unreliable because it is based on a sample that clearly does not represent all dieters.

　　To conclude, each of the studies cited by the author bases its findings on evidence that does not represent dieters in general; for this reason, neither premise of this argument is a reliable generalization. Consequently, I am not convinced that dieters are better off consuming sugar instead of aspartame.

　相关链接：

1.GMAT作文点评与分析(六)

2.GMAT考试成功感言：关于作文

3.GMAT一战740分考生论作文

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