在GMAT作文的备考过程中，考生需要在大量的练习中不断提升自己的逻辑思维能力和语言表达能力，并通过参照模板来改进GMAT作文的写作方式，以达到提高GMAT作文写作水平的目的。下面澳际留学就来为大家提供一些GMAT作文的点评以及范例。更多相关问题可咨询澳际留学在线专家，如果有任何意见和建议，也请联系我们。

题目：

　　10. The following appeared in the editorial section of a local newspaper:

　　“This past winter, 200 students from Waymarsh State College traveled to the state capitol building to protest against

　　proposed cuts in funding for various state college programs. The other 12,000 Waymarsh students evidently weren’t

　　so concerned about their education: they either stayed on campus or lt for winter break. Since the group who did

　　not protest is far more numerous, it is more representative of the state’s college students than are the protesters.

　　Therore the state legislature need not heed the appeals of the protesting students.”

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　　逻辑漏洞：

　　1. 文中说另外12000学生对他们的教育不感兴趣，因为他们没参加游行，躲在学校或放假去了。他们不参加游行不等于对教育不感兴趣，也许是有其他事情没法参加，或者是认为太多人游行不好管理，就派代表。

　　2. 文中说不参加游行的人数远多于参加的人数，所以protester的意见只代表一小部分人。这个没有直接关系，也许protester正是由所有学生选出来的代表，他们的意见就是全体学生的意见。

　　3.游行的人也许是部分学校部分专业的学生，没有整体代表性。

　　sample:

　　Based on the fact that the group who did not protest is far more numerous than the group who did protest, the author concludes that the state legislature need not heed the appeals of the protesting students. To reach this conclusion, the author cites the number of both the students who did protest and those who did not protest. On the first sight, the author’s reasoning seems convincing, but after further rlection, I found that it is illogically problematic in three aspects.

　　First, the author concludes that the 12,000 students weren’t so concerned about their education because they either stayed on campus or lt for winter break. But this may not be the truth. The students who did not travel to the state capital building to protest were not necessarily indifferent about the protest. For example, they may be eager to participate the activity, but they were not very well during those days, or they had such important things to do as taking exams or having interviews. In such conditions, these students who either stayed on campus or lt for winter break had to get information about the protest from mass media such as radio, magazine, newspaper, television, or the Internet. Without giving the reason of these students for not going to protest, one can not draw the conclusion that they did not care the protest.

　　Second, the author states that the group who did not protest is more representative than are the protesters. While, this is not the case if the protesters are the representatives of the students who did not protest. A protest which too many people take part in is hard to organize. To ensure that the protest is well-organized and reaches its original goals, fewer people is needed.

　　Third, the author cites the case in Waymarsh State College to buttress the statement that the state legislature need not heed the appeals of the protesting students. But the issue is relevant to all the colleges through the state. So the situation in Waymarsh State College is not representative of several colleges. That few students in Waymarsh State College traveled to protest could be caused by the fact that few students in Waymarsh State College take the programs which will undergo the proposed cuts in funding. This situation is not necessarily applicable to other colleges. Without illustrating the representativeness of the example he cites, the author can not use a specific case to draw a general conclusion.

　　In conclusion, the author’s reasoning is flawed. The students who did not protest are not necessarily unconcerned about their education, the group who did not protest is not necessarily more representative than are the protesters, and the example in Waymarsh State College is not necessarily representative of all the colleges and universities in the state. To reach his conclusion, the author should investigate why the other 12,000 students did not protest and how the cases were in other colleges.

　相关链接：

1.GMAT作文点评与分析(九)

2.GMAT作文模板汇总

3.GMAT一战740分考生论作文

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