在GMAT作文的备考过程中，考生需要在大量的练习中不断提升自己的逻辑思维能力和语言表达能力，并通过参照模板来改进GMAT作文的写作方式，以达到提高GMAT作文写作水平的目的。下面澳际留学就来为大家提供一些GMAT作文的点评以及范例。更多相关问题可咨询澳际留学在线专家，如果有任何意见和建议，也请联系我们。

12.(题库号30)The following appeared in a newspaper story giving advice about investments:

　　“As overall life expectancy continues to rise, the population of our country is growing increasingly older. For example, more than 20 percent of the residents of one of our more populated regions are now at least 65 years old, and occupancy rates at resort hotels in that region declined significantly during the past six months. Because of these two related trends, a prudent investor would be well advised to sell interest in hotels and invest in hospitals and nursing homes instead.”

　　原文逻辑：

　　寿命预期增长，平均寿命增长。多个地区20%的人口至少65岁，旅馆的入住率在过去六个月内下降。然后推导出应该将对旅馆的投资转向医院和护理机构

　　逻辑漏洞:

　　1. 条件不充分，入住率的下降不一定与平均寿命有关，可能是其他原因，比如季节性的下降

　　2. 酒店入住率降低不一定导致收入和利润下降。如果入住率降低后，旅馆的收入和利润提高了，那么还值得继续投资

　　3. 医院和护理机构通常都是政府资助的非营利机构，是否赚钱。如果不赚钱就不应该投资

　　一点题外话：个人觉得AWA的作文中逻辑本身其实并不重要，不用担心自己找到的漏洞是否足够大，随便抓点缺陷就可以说，主要还是看表达是否顺畅

　　我作文只有4分，就不误导大家了。网上找的范文

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　　逻辑点

　　1. 20% >65岁的地区不具代表性

　　2. 预期寿命增长与旅馆入住率的下降没有关联。

　　In this argument prudent investors are advised to stop investing in hotels and invest instead in hospitals and nursing homes. The author cites two related trends - an aging population and a decline in hotel occupancy - as grounds for this advice. To illustrate these trends, the author rers to another region of the country where 20 percent of the population is over 65 years old and where occupancy rates in resort hotels have declined significantly during the past six months.

　　This argument is unconvincing in a couple of important respects.

　　In the first place, the author provides no evidence to support the claim that the population as a whole is aging and that the hotel occupancy rate in general is declining. The example cited, while suggestive of these trends, is insufficient to warrant their truth because there is no reason to believe that data drawn from this unnamed region is representative of the entire country.

　　For example, if the region from which the data was gathered was Florida, it would clearly be unrepresentative. The reason for this is obvious. Florida is populated by a disproportionate number of retired people over 65 years old and is a very popular vacation destination during the winter months. Moreover, resort hotel occupancy in Florida typically declines significantly during the summer months.

　　In the second place, the author has provided no evidence to support the claim that the decline in hotel occupancy is related to the aging of the population. The author appears to believe that the decrease in occupancy rates at resort hotels is somehow caused by the increase in the number of people over age 65. However, the example cited by the author establishes only that these two trends are sequential or simultaneous. It does not establish that the decline in hotel occupancy is only due to an increase in the number of people over the age of 65.

　　In conclusion, the author&aposs investment advice is not based on sound reasoning. To strengthen the conclusion, the author must show that the trends were not restricted to a particular region of the country. The author must also show that the cause of the decline in hotel occupancy is the increase in the number of people over 65.

　相关链接：

1.GMAT作文点评与分析(十一)

2.GMAT作文模板汇总

3.GMAT考试作文机经 7月10日更新（一）

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