2017-08-11 230阅读
在GMAT作文的备考过程中,考生需要在大量的练习中不断提升自己的逻辑思维能力和语言表达能力,并通过参照模板来改进GMAT作文的写作方式,以达到提高GMAT作文写作水平的目的。下面澳际留学就来为大家提供一些GMAT作文的点评以及范例。更多相关问题可咨询澳际留学在线专家,如果有任何意见和建议,也请联系我们。
14.(原题库32)The following appeared in the editorial section of a West Cambria newspaper:
“A recent review of the West Cambria volunteer ambulance service revealed a longer average response time to accidents than was reported by a commercial ambulance squad located in East Cambria. In order to provide better patient care for accident victims and to raise revenue for our town by collecting service fees for ambulance use, we should disband our volunteer service and hire a commercial ambulance service.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
原文逻辑:
WC【志愿】救护队对事故的平均反应时间,比EC【商业】救护队的时间要长。
为了1给事故受害人提供更好护理2收取救护费,提高本镇收入
故要解散我们的WC【志愿】救护队,雇用商业救护队。
出国留学办理签证是必不可少的,而办理签证的过程亦难易简,从政策解析到递交材料,从申请签证到领取签证!《玩转留学签证》帮你顺利拿下各国签证!更有名校师哥师姐为你讲解牛校申请经验,《谁说申请高手没有秘密》赶紧来探秘一下吧!
逻辑漏洞:
1. 对事故的反应时间长,不等于,提供给对受害人的护理不好。2. 即使雇用商业救护队,护理不一定就比志愿救护队要好,也收不到多少收入。 3. WC和EC两地的特点不同,救护队的反应时间不具有可比性。
Sample:
Based on the review that West Cambria volunteer ambulance service had a longer average response time to accidents than a East Cambria commercial ambulance, the editorial concludes that West Cambria should substitute its volunteer ambulance service for a commercial one. This argument, however, contains several critical flaws.
First of all, the author fails to establish a causal relationship between average response time and patient care. Better patient care involves not only shorter response time, but also more experienced medical care staff and better medical equipments. Perhaps the staff of West Cambria volunteer ambulance all work in local hospitals and clinics. Consequently, it would take longer time for them to respond to accidents, first asking for leave in their workplaces and then hurrying to the place of the accident with equipments.
Secondly, the argument is based on the assumption that hiring a commercial ambulance service would dinitely lead to better patient care for accident victims and more revenue for the town by collecting service fees. However, the author provides no evidence to support this assumption. It is possible that a commercial ambulance has less experienced medical staff and fewer types of equipment than the volunteer ambulance on a cost-benit analysis. Moreover, since accidents do not often occur and there are few calls for an ambulance, the town should not expect to get immense revenues from a commercial ambulance.
Finally, even if a East Cambria commercial ambulance had a shorter response time, that would not necessarily be the case for a West Cambria commercial ambulance. For instance, West Cambria is in a mountainous district so the response time to accidents is longer.
In sum, the editorial fails to convince readers that West Cambria should substitute its volunteer ambulance service for a commercial one. To strengthen the argument, the author should provide evidence that a commercial ambulance could provide better patient care in West Cambria.
相关链接:
1.GMAT作文点评与分析(十三)
2.GMAT作文模板汇总
3.GMAT考试作文机经 7月10日更新(三)
Copyright 2000 - 2020 北京澳际教育咨询有限公司
www.aoji.cn All Rights Reserved | 京ICP证050284号
总部地址:北京市东城区 灯市口大街33号 国中商业大厦2-3层
高国强 向我咨询
行业年龄 11年
成功案例 2937人
留学关乎到一个家庭的期望以及一个学生的未来,作为一名留学规划导师,我一直坚信最基本且最重要的品质是认真负责的态度。基于对学生和家长认真负责的原则,结合丰富的申请经验,更有效地帮助学生清晰未来发展方向,顺利进入理想院校。
Tara 向我咨询
行业年龄 6年
成功案例 1602人
薛占秋 向我咨询
行业年龄 10年
成功案例 1869人
从业3年来成功协助数百同学拿到英、美、加、澳等各国学习签证,递签成功率90%以上,大大超过同业平均水平。
Cindy 向我咨询
行业年龄 18年
成功案例 4806人
精通各类升学,转学,墨尔本的公立私立初高中,小学,高中升大学的申请流程及入学要求。本科升学研究生,转如入其他学校等服务。