GMAT作文点评与分析(十四).

2017-08-11 作者: 268阅读

  在GMAT作文的备考过程中,考生需要在大量的练习中不断提升自己的逻辑思维能力和语言表达能力,并通过参照模板来改进GMAT作文的写作方式,以达到提高GMAT作文写作水平的目的。下面澳际留学就来为大家提供一些GMAT作文的点评以及范例。更多相关问题可咨询澳际留学在线专家,如果有任何意见和建议,也请联系我们。

14.(原题库32)The following appeared in the editorial section of a West Cambria newspaper:

  “A recent review of the West Cambria volunteer ambulance service revealed a longer average response time to accidents than was reported by a commercial ambulance squad located in East Cambria. In order to provide better patient care for accident victims and to raise revenue for our town by collecting service fees for ambulance use, we should disband our volunteer service and hire a commercial ambulance service.”

  Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.

  原文逻辑:

  WC【志愿】救护队对事故的平均反应时间,比EC【商业】救护队的时间要长。

  为了1给事故受害人提供更好护理2收取救护费,提高本镇收入

  故要解散我们的WC【志愿】救护队,雇用商业救护队。

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  逻辑漏洞:

  1. 对事故的反应时间长,不等于,提供给对受害人的护理不好。2. 即使雇用商业救护队,护理不一定就比志愿救护队要好,也收不到多少收入。 3. WC和EC两地的特点不同,救护队的反应时间不具有可比性。

  Sample:

  Based on the review that West Cambria volunteer ambulance service had a longer average response time to accidents than a East Cambria commercial ambulance, the editorial concludes that West Cambria should substitute its volunteer ambulance service for a commercial one. This argument, however, contains several critical flaws.

  First of all, the author fails to establish a causal relationship between average response time and patient care. Better patient care involves not only shorter response time, but also more experienced medical care staff and better medical equipments. Perhaps the staff of West Cambria volunteer ambulance all work in local hospitals and clinics. Consequently, it would take longer time for them to respond to accidents, first asking for leave in their workplaces and then hurrying to the place of the accident with equipments.

  Secondly, the argument is based on the assumption that hiring a commercial ambulance service would dinitely lead to better patient care for accident victims and more revenue for the town by collecting service fees. However, the author provides no evidence to support this assumption. It is possible that a commercial ambulance has less experienced medical staff and fewer types of equipment than the volunteer ambulance on a cost-benit analysis. Moreover, since accidents do not often occur and there are few calls for an ambulance, the town should not expect to get immense revenues from a commercial ambulance.

  Finally, even if a East Cambria commercial ambulance had a shorter response time, that would not necessarily be the case for a West Cambria commercial ambulance. For instance, West Cambria is in a mountainous district so the response time to accidents is longer.

  In sum, the editorial fails to convince readers that West Cambria should substitute its volunteer ambulance service for a commercial one. To strengthen the argument, the author should provide evidence that a commercial ambulance could provide better patient care in West Cambria.

 相关链接

1.GMAT作文点评与分析(十三)

2.GMAT作文模板汇总

3.GMAT考试作文机经 7月10日更新(三)

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