雅思写作满分小作文评点:砖块的制作.

2017-08-07 作者: 292阅读

  雅思写作高分就有难度,而雅思写作满分就更是可遇而不可求了,满分的雅思写作是在文章结构上、句式运用、词汇选择上都有很高要求的,因此,对于雅思写作遇到瓶颈的同学是非常具有参考价值的,下面就是澳际小编整理的一篇雅思写作满分小作文:砖块的制作。

  WRITING TASK 1

  You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

  The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry.

  Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

  Write at least 150 words.

  Brick manufacturing

* Clay: type of sticky earth that is used for making bricks, pots, etc.

  【满分范文】

  The process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry can be outlined in seven consecutive steps. First the raw material, clay, which was just below the surface of soil in certain clay-rich areas has to be dug up by a digger.

  Then the lumps of clay are placed on a metal grid in order to break up the big chunks of clay into much smaller areas, which fall through the metal grid onto a roller, whose motion further segregates the bits of clay. Sand and water are added to make a homogenous mixture, which is then either formed in moulds or cut into brick-shaped pieces by means of a wire cutter.

  Those fresh bricks are then kept in a drying oven for at least 24 and a maximum of 48 hours, several dozens if not hundreds of bricks at a time. The dried bricks are then transferred to a so-called kiln, another type of high temperature oven. First they are kept at a moderate temperature of 200 ℃ -1300 ℃ . This process is followed by cooling down the finished bricks for 48 to 72 hours in a cooling chamber.

  Once the bricks have cooled down and have become hard, they get packaged and delivered to their final destination, be it a building site or storage.

  (215 words)

  【考官评语】

  Band 9

  This response fully satisfies the requirements of the task. All key features of each stage of the process are appropriately and accurately presented. An excellent overview is given at the beginning of the response and this skilfully incorporates part of the rubric, changing the grammatical function, to give a bri summary of the whole process. The message is very easy to read, with seamless cohesion that attracts no attention. Paragraphing, linking and rerencing are all skilfully managed. The language used is very fluent and sophisticated. A wide range of vocabulary and structures are used with full flexibility and accuracy. Only rare minor ‘slips’ can be found and these do not detract from the high rating.

  以上就是这篇满分雅思写作范文的全部内容,希望广大的雅思考生也能够从这篇雅思写作满分小作文的结构、用词、句式等多个角度对这篇文章深度的分析一下,取长补短。

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