雅思写作想得高分应该避免的错误.

2017-08-07 作者: 214阅读

  很多出国的同学都面临着雅思考试,雅思写作可真是一个头疼的项目。为啥写的不错还不能得高分?其实可能是欠缺些技巧。下面澳际小编为你介绍雅思写作得高分的方法。

  大家现在所看到的这篇小作文选自C6T2,同其他考官范文不同, 这篇文章出自考生之手。假如你是雅思考官,按照写作评分的四大项标准, 你会给他打几分呢?

  The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000.

  In 2000 the most prerred mode of travel is by car with 4, 806 people. There's a noticeable decrease in public transportation locally where it dropped from 429 people in 1985 to 274 people in 2000. However the long distance bus rides is much more prerred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. People who chose to walk or cycle are decreased slightly in 2000. Which probably made people to take the take the train more often. There's a significant increase in the numbers of people who travelled by train. It jumped from 289 in 1985 to 366 in 2000. This makes the train second popular mode of transportation. The biggest leap in the chart is the increase of taxi users who are tripled in 2000 with 42 people. Where it was only 13 in 1985

  Apart from all this modes of travel, there are some more different types of travel as well of course. Number of people choosing different modes of travel is rapidly increased from 450 to 585 in 2000.

  我们先从客观地从考官的评分角度来评判下这篇文章。

  首先从文章的内容上来看,考生确实从趋势角度描写了数据变化,但描写逻辑混乱。开端描述了car,local bus 及 long distance bus。Car的数据自始至终都是最大的,先描写也毋庸置疑,但local bus 和 long distance bus,变化数据涉及不多,同时变化趋势也不相同,放在一起描述没有意义。其次,此文没有描述表格中的总量这一数据,这也是其失分的原因。

  再来看下这篇文章数字后所带的单位,考生的作文中带的是people, 但仔细审题后我们会发现,这篇作文的真正单位实际是miles,通篇文章对单位的理解都是错误的。

  接下来我们来看结构,通篇文章分成两段。考官习作中有分成三段、四段及五段的小作文的例子,但两段的绝对没有。同时,文章开篇直接就描述了最大数据, 缺少了开头段的引入,结尾段也并不是考官所期望看到的总结性信息。

  不过从词汇角度来看, 文章代词及连词使用较好。

  a.However the long distance bus rides is much more prerred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. Its指代long distance bus ride。

  b.It jumped from 289 in 1985 to 366 in 2000. It指代the number of people who travelled by train.

  c.This makes the train second popular mode of transportation. This 指代上一句话。

  从语法角度来看, 文章细小问题较多。

  a.时态: 数据变化时间为1985-2000, 为一般过去, 考生采用的为一般现在。

  b.主谓一致: However the long distance bus rides is much more prerred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. 主语复数, 谓语动词单数, 主谓不一致。

  c.名词单复数: There's a significant increase in the numbers of people who travelled by train. Number应为单数。

  d.被动语态: as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. People who chose to walk or cycle are decreased slightly in 2000. Number of people choosing different modes of travel is rapidly increased from 450 to 585 in 2000. 这三个句子的动词应该全部改为主动语态。

  这样的作文究竟可以得几分呢, 我们来看下考官评语,实际同我们刚刚分析时给出的关键点是一致的。

  This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6 score. Here is the examiner's comment:

  This answer does not introduce the information in the table, nor does it report it accurately. The figures are misinterpreted as representing the number of people rather than the average number of miles travelled per person per year. Consequently the information about the increase in total travel is simply not mentioned, so not all key information is covered. There is an attempt to summarize trends in the figures, but the reader cannot get a clear overall picture of the information because of the fundamental confusion.

  Nevertheless, the information is organized and the writing flows quite well because of good use of rerencing and other connectors, but there are occasional errors in these and the links between ideas are slightly confusing at times.

  The strong feature in this answer is the range of vocabulary which is used with some flexibility and good control. A good range of structures is also used, but there are still some fairly basic mistakes, such as in the choice of tense, subject/verb agreement and inappropriate use of the passive.

  当然我们分析这篇考生作文的最终目的不是想告诉大家6分的作文错误百出,而是希望同学们可以取长补短,像这篇作文考生所出现的基本问题,如时态、单位、语态等在你的作文中要避免出现,像考官特别看重的他的句子多样性要多加学习。最后期待大家能拿到理想的分数。

  以上是澳际小编为你整理的雅思写作干货,希望对你的考试有帮助。

留学咨询

更多出国留学最新动态,敬请关注澳际教育手机端网站,并可拨打咨询热线:400-601-0022
  • 专家推荐
  • 成功案例
  • 博文推荐
  • 高国强 向我咨询

    行业年龄 11年

    成功案例 2937人

    留学关乎到一个家庭的期望以及一个学生的未来,作为一名留学规划导师,我一直坚信最基本且最重要的品质是认真负责的态度。基于对学生和家长认真负责的原则,结合丰富的申请经验,更有效地帮助学生清晰未来发展方向,顺利进入理想院校。

  • Tara 向我咨询

    行业年龄 6年

    成功案例 1602人

  • 薛占秋 向我咨询

    行业年龄 10年

    成功案例 1869人

    从业3年来成功协助数百同学拿到英、美、加、澳等各国学习签证,递签成功率90%以上,大大超过同业平均水平。

  • Cindy 向我咨询

    行业年龄 18年

    成功案例 4806人

    精通各类升学,转学,墨尔本的公立私立初高中,小学,高中升大学的申请流程及入学要求。本科升学研究生,转如入其他学校等服务。

  • 重磅利好! 澳洲对中国开放10年签证!中澳多个直飞航班也将上线!

    517人阅读 查看原文

  • 澳八大里的中国留学生都在学什么专业?最热门专业汇总,码住!

    1315人阅读 查看原文

  • 澳洲某神仙专业只需1年,毕业就能拿PR!5所高校该课程已获当地认证!

    958人阅读 查看原文

  • PTE寒假班招生计划!

    1183人阅读 查看原文

我要查

澳际服务

我要读

热门国家申请