雅思写作语法错误实例点评.

2017-08-06 作者： 346阅读

　　雅思写作除了写的过程，更为重要的就是一个修改的过程，为此澳际小编特收集整理了这篇雅思写作语法错误实例点评，分享给大家，希望对大家有所帮助，文中观点仅供参考。

　　TOPIC: To get information with fectiveness and ficiency, people prer to use some cyber devices like laptop and cell phones. However, there are still some people who like reading newspapers and books instead. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

　　这个题目是说有人觉得通过电脑手机等现代通讯工具获取信息更好，而有人觉得还是传统的读书看报的方式更好，要求考生来讨论这两种观点并给与自己的看法。

　　With the popularization of cyber devices, more and more people like searching information online. Yet there are quite portion of readers prer reading newspapers and books.

　　下面就是该同学写的范文。

　　With the popularization of cyber devices, more and more people like scanning information online. Yet there are quite portion readers prer reading newspapers and books.

　　For one thing, some people argue that electrical books save space and are easier to manage. We don’t need a bookshelf and it will save huge space for our rooms. Besides, electrical books reduce consumption of link, paper and lumber. For some books, we just read once time. If we bought it, it may lead to waste and the money which we cost is unnecessary. On the other hand, e-books are portable and we read it at time anywhere. It’s convenience for us to get information and news can be known with free in time.

　　Opposing view is that there are still some people who like reading printing books. Traditional books bring less harm to eyes than e-books. As we know, electronic equipment has great radiation, it may increase the rates of suffering cancer. For another, the majority of the classic books are preserved by paper books. Reading a good book need us repeat scrutiny and take notes on it. And traditional books don’t need power sources and reading devices while these things can’t be done by reading online.

　　I am of the opinion that it’s suitable to read fast information by laptop or cellphones for its cost-fective and portable, such as news, digests, and so on. In contrast, traditional books can bring more comfortable reading experience. And there are a number of readers have a hobby of collecting classic books. Consumers have different choices, e-books still can’t replace printed books.

　　我们一段一段来分析。

　　第一段，她说，For one thing, some people argue that electrical books save space and are easier to manage(这个句子里，我们其实无法理解她所谓的“manage”，也就是说用词不恰当。这个地方我觉得她是想表达accessible这个意思。) We don’t need a bookshelf and it will save huge space for our rooms. (这里第二句和第一句其实都是一样，表达过于啰嗦。 )Besides, electrical books reduce consumption of link, paper and lumber. For some books, we just read once time. If we bought it, it may lead to waste and the money which we cost is unnecessary. On the other hand(这句里存在着大部分同学都会犯的毛病—逻辑混乱。大家仔细想想，这里其实并没有转折关系，为什么另外一方面呢) e-books are portable and we can read it anytime anywhere. It’s convenience for us to get information and news can be known with free in time (这句两个动词，这又是大家常犯的语法错误，尤其遇到there be句型时候。)

　　Opposing view is that there are still some people who like reading printing books. (这中间完全可以加一层因果链)Traditional books bring less harm to eyes than e-books. As we know, electronic equipment复数 has great radiation (这里，用词不恰当，辐射用emit不是have), it may increase the rates of suffering cancer. For another (作为固定搭配，for one 在哪呢), a majority of the classic books are preserved by paper books. Reading a good book need三单 us repeat scrutiny and take notes on it (这句和上下文并没有逻辑关系吗). And (此连词是在在和谁并列) traditional books don’t need power sources and reading devices while these things can’t be done by reading online.

　　I am of the opinion that it’s suitable to read (中式表达痕迹太明显，这不是read是get,不能直接翻译中文，就像中文中，北方人说“喝药” 南方人说“吃药”，但在英文中不用吃不用喝，而是have) fast information by laptop or cell phones for its cost-fective and portable, such as news, digests, (读者文摘作为专有名词应该，首字母大写，标点是大家经常忽略的细节，而正是标点这样的细节正是雅思写作评分标准中强调的)and so on. In contrast, traditional books can bring more comfortable reading experience. And there are a number of readers have(这句里动词又太多了)a hobby of collecting classic books. Consumers(用词不够准确，读者更合适，而不是消费者) have different choices, e-books still can’t replace printed books.

　　这篇学生写的文章，按雅思的四项评分标准来看，TA (task response) 内容来看，基本覆盖了也回答响应了题目。CC (coherence and cohesion) 结构方面问题也不是很大，讨论双方观点的题目，规规矩矩四段，全文框架还是明了的，但是问题是，段落内部缺乏逻辑，连接词使用不适当。至于LR(lexical resources) 词汇资源和GRA(grammatical range and accuracy) 语法来看，除学生文法不扎实外，很大程度出问题还因为前两条评分标准没做好，即内容简单，逻辑简单，从而导致全文语言的表达也跟着简单，也就是说简单句太多，而且，如果内容过于简单也就是意味着用词也不会具体贴切。

　　以上就是雅思写作语法错误实例点评，谈了雅思写作中常见的语法问题，希望大家受用，也希望有留学梦想的同学早日出国。