SAT作文中间段修改实例讲解(二)

三 When we came back to Suzhou, I began to work harder on my tennis training. Everyday I went to the tennis court after school. From 5p.m. to 8p.m., I 1exert all my strength at training. Everyday I was still training 2while my teammates went home with their parents.

分析：

1 时态的问题请大家一定要注重，确保前后一致。 2 在看这句的时候，突然觉得作者有一点感伤了，看到同学们都和爸妈一起回去了。 3 总体上说训练是一个把不好的记忆变成好记忆的重要过度，还得添加笔墨来加强场景感。

修改：

After returning to my hometown, days went on as usual. But that failed experience let me realize that as a tennis player, there was still a long way bore me. In order to fill the gap between professional athletes and me, I became harder on myself. Everyday after school I could be spotted walking into the stadium and training painstakingly every night until the security guard hurried me up to leave there. Day in and day out, I kept practicing a series of skills---serving, forehand hitting and backhand returning, dampening one T-shirt after another. But no matter how tired I was, I always bore in mind an idea to beat that man who looked upon me one year ago. For almost a year, the total practice hours mounted to an amazing __ hours.

四 1 The second year, I joined my final match because my age was too old to join the match. I knew it was my final chance to deat him. Luckily, we had a battle at the semi-final. 2 The time does not lose the person with high aspirations. Finally, I won the match with the score of 7:5, 4:6 and 7:5. At last, I said, ‘3 You are the loser now. What’s the feeling of it? It’s my pound to interview you.’

分析：

1 这个句子有点晦涩，应该是指这个年龄段的比赛以后你就不能参加了。 2 不理解这句话 3 呵呵，实在是太可爱了，我们就顺应他的意思吧。

修改：

One year later, I entered, with great confidence, for the same competition, which would be my final performance since this game was prepared for children aged 8 to 12. After sweeping all my opponents, I entered the final and, not surprisingly, saw my greatest foe--- Hu, the dending champion. This time, he paled compared with a new me，who was not only skillful but also determined. Finally, after a two-hour fierce fight, I won the game by 7:5, 4:6 and 7:5.

五.总结例子 From my failure to my win, there is just one year. But it must be the experience I will never forget.

修改：

It takes me one year to turn the failed experience into a victory, during which I not only improved my skills in tennis but more importantly increased my courage to deal with troubles.

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