这是一篇成功申请到美国Princeton University普林斯顿大学的Essay范文，Essay题目为Dear santa，Essay的写作题材为family，文后附含Essay范文点评与分析。

　　普林斯顿大学申请Essay范文："Dear santa"

　　EVERY YEAR, MY CHRISTMAS WISH LIST would read, "Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is a baby brother." At age nine, I knew Santa had to be real because, one day, my mom announced that she was pregnant. After ten years of being an only child, I could not have anticipated how much my life would change because of a little brother. I received the honor of naming him, and I chose Jason. In retrospect, I should have named my brother "Ivan the Terrible."

　　Jason followed me everywhere like an irritating shadow. My grievances to my mom were countless, especially after Jason drew all over my bedroom walls and murdered my pet fsh, goldie. My mom&apos&aposs typical response was, "Well, isn&apos&apost this what you&apos&aposve always wished for?"Jason&apos&aposs mischi reached a new height one morning when I became the victim of a fve year old with scissors. I stared into the bathroom mirror and dunked my head under cold water to make sure I was not dreaming. What I saw enraged me! In the middle of the night, Michael had cut off fve inches of my long, black hair from one side of my head. I stood in horror, and stormed to the kitchen where I found the rest of my family calmly eating breakfast. I fashed a menacing stare at my brother, who snickered across the table. "You&apos&aposre going to pay for this!" I screamed. Furious beyond words, I could not even begin to describe my rage. Instead, I ran back to the bathroom and huddled on the foor.

　　"What am I going to do?" I was irate and panicked at the same time. As a freshman in high school, I was very sensitive about my appearance. I had been hesitant to cut my hair past the "tips to take away the split-ends" trim, because my hair had been the same length for seven years. I agonized over the situation and concocted my swift counter-attack. Instead of chopping off his hair, I found inspiration to appease my anger in the pages of Teen magazine and considered trendy hairstyles. My brother was stunned because I did not retaliate. victory was mine.Because of experiences such as this, I have learned to adapt, to keep my focus, and to solve problems with little or no resources. I approach tough situations with objectivity and determination. Like many other experiences with my brother and at school, I have dealt with diffcult situations and turned them into positive opportunities for change. I am fexible with the circumstances given to me, and I strive for the best outcome. Despite the craziness Santa&apos&aposs gift brings, Jason&apos&aposs continuous surprises provide laughter to my life. As for my hair, I did cut off the fve inches from the other side, and I actually cherished the new look better. Thanks, Santa.

　　普林斯顿大学Essay范文点评与分析Analysis

　　The author&apos&aposs wit shines through in this punchy, concise essay. In fact, her humor is immediately evident in the frst paragraph when shining expectations for a long-wished-for baby brother are thwarted by the blunt sentence, "In retrospect, I should have named my brother &apos&aposIvan the Terrible&apos&apos." She uses italics and exclamation points fectively in her writing to punctuate key words and to express her mood. For instance, from the statement "Jason followed me everywhere like an irritating shadow," the exaggeration of "everywhere" heightens our understanding of the intensity of her irritation. The exclamation point at the end of "What I saw enraged me!" underscores the author&apos&aposs anger. Excessive use of word-stylization and punctuation can be distracting in an essay, but thoughtful use can enhance writing. In her case, these were particularly appropriate because her essay conveyed a more casual, informal tone.

　　Stylistically, the author also varies her sentence length to excellent dramatic fect. In particular, the contrast between longer descriptions of what was going on and short remarks such as "You&apos&aposre going to pay for this," the thought of "What am I going to do?," and the proud conclusion, "Victory was mine" draw us into the immediacy of the story. She chose to illustrate one very specifc event from her many "grievances" (from bedroom wall vandalism to goldfsh murder)—her brother cutting off her hair. This specifc anecdote demonstrates how it is possible to write an essay that doesn&apos&apost describe a transformation of years or even a weeklong summer camp. Though the event the author describes in this essay probably transpired in a matter of hours, she still made this a meaningful topic for her paper. This shows us that there&apos&aposs really no "best" timrame or topic for writing a personal essay. The author&apos&aposs essay takes a specifc topic of a very short timrame, relates it to a longer timrame (we know she has had long hair for seven years and is sensitive about her appearance as many high school freshmen are) and shows more generalized, almost "timeless" if you will, aspects of her overall character.liuxue.la We can contrast this to Jason Y. Shah&apos&aposs approach in "Hurricane Transformations" (Chapter 15), in which he tells a story of change that occurs over many months. The writing styles are different; yet, both essays fectively show us positive traits in the authors&apos&apos characters.

　　The strength of this author&apos&aposs essay is that she conveys a specifc event with a lively narrative pace and snappy dialogue then ultimately creates a broader conclusion that helps us understand how this specifc incident illustrates that she has "learned to adapt, to keep [her] focus, and to solve problems with little or no resources." Though the overall tone of her essay may seem to focus on annoyance and anger at her brother, ultimately she demonstrates her resilience and her capacity for forgiveness in noting, "despite the craziness Santa&apos&aposs gift brings, Jason&apos&aposs continuous surprises provide laughter to my life." Her comment that she prerred her new hairstyle further demonstrates how she turns diffcult situations into advantageous opportunities. "Thanks, Santa" is a catchy way to end the essay. It can be tempting to end with a long "summary" sentence, but she shows how even two words can make for a memorable and satisfying ending.想要获得更多咨询服务点击进入>>>>澳际免费咨询顾问或联系QQ客服：

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