优秀美国大学essay范文分享.

2017-07-21 作者: 387阅读

  美国大学essay应该怎么写?准备美国大学申请essay的很多同学都不知道应该怎么写?大家可以参考下优秀的美国大学essay范文,从中在总结一些对于美国大学申请essay有帮助的信息,澳际留学小编下面为大家分享一篇,供大家参考学习。

  下面就是澳际留学小编为准备美国大学申请essay的同学分享的优秀美国大学essay范文,希望对您美国大学essay写作有所帮助。

  My childhood lt three months ago on a plane to Austria.

  It was a sad day, the end of June, when my baby cousins moved away. They had lived nearby for almost five years, and now they were moving to a country too far to visit with any regularity. My cousins were a fundamental part of my life; when they were not with me, they were on my mind. A week had never gone by without a visit from them and I doubted my life would be the same without them. They brought back the untroubled days of my childhood, through games, adventures, and silliness; and yet they helped mature me from an at-times selfish teenager into a responsible, mature adult.

  My aunt and uncle moved to New Jersey from Boston, with their 1-year-old daughter Yasmeen, in the winter of 1998. They lived in an apartment on the side of our house and I was ecstatic to have our family, especially a baby girl, so close to us. Yasmeen had close friendships with each of my sisters, but I knew the one that developed between us was the strongest. As she began to walk on her own and talk in full sentences, I realized the extent of my influence upon her. I would notice her syntax and mannerisms mimicking mine. I also noticed when she’d copy some of my more unpleasant actions, arguing with her mother after I had done the same. Yasmeen made me realize what being a role model really was.

  When Maya was born in 2000, Yasmeen had a hard time adjusting. She was jealous of the attention we all paid to her new younger sister, so I did my best to pay attention to her when she might have not been noticed. Once Yasmeen overcame her jealousy, she was able to enjoy Maya’s presence in our lives, like we all did. Maya grew up fast, too, it seemed. Each day, they got a little bit bigger, doing my best to free my schedule for my two favorite people.

  My experience with Yasmeen and Maya has brought me to realize the importance of influential people. I know that I have helped Yasmeen and Maya grow, but “the babies” have made an even great impact on my own life. They have shown me how to be a parent, a sister, a cousin, a babysitter, a child, and most importantly, a friend. My relationship with my cousins has made me a better person-a more patient person, with the ability to tolerate endless questions and spilled juice; an exuberant person, able to have fun and be happy with others and sometimes, when I’d rather not, for the sake of others; a role model, showing the babies the ethics of life, right, wrong, and in between; and a compassionate person, able to be responsible, forgiving, and loving. Yasmeen and Maya made me know that I can and do affect people’s lives and emotions. They are where I leave a lasting impression. And maybe, as they grow, they won’t remember all the fun times we had, but I do know they’ll remember the things I tried to teach them about life and love and family.

  Things to Notice about This Essay英文点评

  1. The essay has a sharp, strong beginning and a fresh honesty that conveys the events of the author’s life and her outlook.

  2. The style is simple and the topic is, too. But we believe in this story because of its simplicity.

  3. The author proves that this has been a significant experience by the lessons she enumerates in the last paragraph.

  4. The reader needs to know a little more about the circumstances of these moves from Boston to New Jersey to Austria, in order to understand the context of the essay.

  5. A few more specific examples in the second and third paragraphs would give them the same strength and vividness as the “spilled juice” rerence.

  6. Having shared this interesting story, the author might find a few more insights and results to add to the last paragraph. The events seem affecting; the fects might be multiplied.

  中文点评:

  1、 这是一篇带有感情描写的申请Essay,属于我上课讲的三种最厉害的Style(Professional, Appealing to Emotion, and Creative)中的第二种。

  2、 本文写作文风轻快,但流露真情实感,很容易让读者有触动。

  3、 文章表面写分离之痛和表亲之谊,却带出了自己的成长感触和对世界的理解(主要体现在最后一段),不是没有任何point的感情描写。

  4、 开头段很强(语不惊人死不休)。

  上面的信息就是澳际留学小编为准备美国大学申请essay的同学分享的一篇优秀的美国大学essay范文,这是一篇带有感情描写的申请Essay,属于我上课讲的三种最厉害的Style中的第二种。希望对您美国大学essay写作有所帮助,大家想了解更多信息请关注澳际留学。

  澳际留学专家提醒大家:

  适合您的时间安排

  本科留学时间规划:至少提前2年开始准备(高一最佳,高二尚可)

  以秋季入学为例(美国高校本科很少有国际学生春季入学)

  12月-1月开始准备各项考试

  7-8月了解学校,初步确定选校的方案

  9-10月以前结束TOEFL/SAT/IELTS等考试

  9-10月准备并提交录取(EA/ED)申请

  11-12月准备并提交常规录取(RD)申请

  第二年1-5月等待申请结果,做出选择

  第二年5-8月准备签证

  根据美国大学招生委员会的时间安排,我们强烈建议:提前1.5-2年开始准备(学生高二)!

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