几招让雅思作文“简洁漂亮”

2017-07-10 作者: 340阅读

中国烤鸭在雅思写作中,极爱用长难句,自己感觉一写长难句就会高大上,但其实不然。

建议一:避免空洞的单词和词组

1.一些空洞的单词或词组根本不能为句子带来任何相关的或重要的信息,完全可以被删掉。

比如:When all things are considered, young adults of today live moresatisfying lives than those of their parents, in my opinion。

这句话当中的“when all things are considered”和“in my opinion“都显得多余。完全可以去掉。改为:

Young adults of today live more satisfying lives than their parents。

2.有些空洞和繁琐的表达方式可以进行替换

例如:Due to the fact that our grandparents were under an obligation to helptheir parents, they did not have the options that young people have at thispoint in time。

“due to the fact that”就是一个很典型的繁琐的表达方式的例子,可以替换,简化为下面的表达方式:

Because our grandparents were obligated to help their parents, they did nothave the options that young people have now。

建议二:避免重复

1.尽量避免重复使用同样的词汇。或者有的时候虽然词汇没有重复,但意思却有重复。这时候可以做一些简化的工作。

例如下面这个例子:The farm my grandfather grew up on was large in size。

large对一个farm来说就是size方面的large,所以in size可以去掉,改为:

The farm my grandfather grew up on was large。

更简洁的表达方式为:

My grandfather grew up on a large farm。

2.有时一个词组可以用一个更简单的单词来替换

例如:My grandfather has said over and over again that he had to work on hisparents' farm。

这里的over and over again就可以改为repeatedly,显得更为简洁:

My grandfather has said repeatedly that he had to work on his parents'farm。

建议三:选择最恰当的语法结构

选择合适的语法结构可以使句子意思的表达更为精确和简练。虽然语法的多样性也很重要,但选择最恰当的语法结构仍然是更为重要的考虑因素。以下原则是在考虑选择何种语法结构时可以参考的原则:

1.一个句子的主语和谓语动词应该能够反映句子中的最重要的意思。

例如:The situation that resulted in my grandfather's not being able to studyengineering was that his father needed help on the farm。

从意思上来分析,上面这句话需要表达的重要的概念是“grandfather's not being able tostudy”,而在表达这个概念时,原句用的主语是situation,谓语动词是was,不能强调需要表达的重点概念,可以改为下面这句话:

My grandfather couldn't study engineering because his father needed help onthe farm。

2.避免频繁使用“there be”结构

例如下面的句子:There were 25 cows on the farm that my grandfather had to milkevery day. It was hard work for my grandfather。

可以改为:

My grandfather worked hard. He had to milk 25 cows on the farm everyday。

更简洁的句式为:

My grandfather worked hard milking 25 cows daily。

3.把从句改为短语或单词。

例如:Dairy cows were raised on the farm, which was located100 kilometers fromthe nearest university and was in an area that was remote。

简介的表达方式为:

The dairy farm was located in a remote area, 100 kilometers to the nearestuniversity。

4.仅在需要强调宾语而不是主语的时候,才使用被动语态。

例如:In the fall, not only did the cows have to be milked, but also the haywas mowed and stacked by my grandfather's family。

本句不够简洁的原因是本句的重心应该是“忙碌的家庭-my grandfather'sfamily”,而使用了被动语态後,彷佛重心变成了cows和hay。下面的表达方式是主动语态,相对来说更简洁一些:

In the fall, my grandfather's family not only milked the cow but also mowedand stacked the hay。

5.用更为精确的一个动词来代替动词短语,

例如:My grandfather didn't have time to stand around doing nothing with hisschool friends。

Stand around doing nothing其实可以用一个动词来表达,即loiter:

My grandfather didn't have time to loiter with his school friends。

6.有时两句话的信息经过组合完全可以用一句话来简练地表达

例如:Profits from the farm were not large. Sometimes they were too small tomeet the expenses of running a farm. They were not sufficient to pay for auniversity degree。

两句话的信息可以合并为下面这句更为简洁的句子:

Profits from the farm were sometimes too small to meet operationalexpenses, let alone pay for a university degree。

留学咨询

更多出国留学最新动态,敬请关注澳际教育手机端网站,并可拨打咨询热线:400-601-0022
  • 专家推荐
  • 成功案例
  • 博文推荐
  • 高国强 向我咨询

    行业年龄 11年

    成功案例 2937人

    留学关乎到一个家庭的期望以及一个学生的未来,作为一名留学规划导师,我一直坚信最基本且最重要的品质是认真负责的态度。基于对学生和家长认真负责的原则,结合丰富的申请经验,更有效地帮助学生清晰未来发展方向,顺利进入理想院校。

  • Tara 向我咨询

    行业年龄 6年

    成功案例 1602人

  • 薛占秋 向我咨询

    行业年龄 10年

    成功案例 1869人

    从业3年来成功协助数百同学拿到英、美、加、澳等各国学习签证,递签成功率90%以上,大大超过同业平均水平。

  • Cindy 向我咨询

    行业年龄 18年

    成功案例 4806人

    精通各类升学,转学,墨尔本的公立私立初高中,小学,高中升大学的申请流程及入学要求。本科升学研究生,转如入其他学校等服务。

  • 重磅利好! 澳洲对中国开放10年签证!中澳多个直飞航班也将上线!

    510人阅读 查看原文

  • 澳八大里的中国留学生都在学什么专业?最热门专业汇总,码住!

    1309人阅读 查看原文

  • 澳洲某神仙专业只需1年,毕业就能拿PR!5所高校该课程已获当地认证!

    953人阅读 查看原文

  • PTE寒假班招生计划!

    1183人阅读 查看原文

我要查

澳际服务

我要读

热门国家申请