帮助希望计划出国留学者实现他们的出国深造梦想

谁的爸爸最强壮

维尔和比尔在争吵，谁的爸爸是更强壮的一个。维尔说：“你知道太平洋吗？那个坑是我爸爸挖的。”
比尔不屑地说：“那没什么。你知道死海吗？那是我爸爸打死的。”
Whose Father was the Stronger
Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. Will said, "Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it."
Bill wasn't impressed, "Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father's the one who killed it!"

一只鸡

精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？
病人：我认为我是一只鸡。
精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？
病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。
A Chicken
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!

其余的事由我负责

一位车上的列车员刚发出信号让火车启动，这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边，跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。
“快点，小姐!”他喊道：“请把门关上。”
“噢，我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。”她回答道。
“请把门关上好了，”列车员说：“其余的事由我负责。”
I'll See to the Rest
A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.
"Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"
"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye." she called back.
"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."

你娶了我的妈妈

小男孩：“爸爸，我想结婚。”
爸爸打趣地问道：“噢！谁是你心中合适的人选？”
小男孩：“奶奶。”
爸爸：“等一下，你认为我会让你娶我的妈妈？”
小男孩：“为什么不？你娶了我的妈妈。”
You Married My Mother
Little boy: 褼addy, I want to get married.?Father jokingly said:?Oh! Who did you have in mind??Little boy: 褿randma.?Father:?Wait a minute, you did not think I'd let you marry my mother, did you??Little boy:?Why not? You married mine.?

一场特殊的足球比赛

麦克上学迟到了。他对布莱克老师说：“对不起，老师，今天早上我迟到了。因为我在梦里观看了一场球赛。”
“为什么它会让你迟到呢？”老师问道。
“因为这两个队都没有能力获胜，所以持续的时间就长了。”麦克回答说。
A Football Match
Mike was late for school. He said to his teacher, Mr. Black, "Excuse me for my coming late, sir. I watched a football match in my dream."
"Why did it make you late?" inquired the teacher.
"Because neither team could win the game, so it lasted a long time." replied Mike.

大家都认为我是头

皮特告诉他的朋友他刚刚丢掉了工作。“为什么领班会开除你？”朋友诧异地问。
“哦，”皮特说，“你知道领班是什么样的人。他们总是把手插在口袋了，站在旁边看其他人工作。”
“我们知道是这样。”朋友回答说。“但是为什么他会让你走？”
“嫉妒。”皮特回答。“其他所有的工人都认为我是领班。”
I was the Foreman
Peter was telling a friend that he had just lost his job. "Why did the foreman fire you?" the friend asked in surprise.
"Oh," Peter said, "you know how foreman are. They stand around with their hands in their pockets watching everybody else work."
"We all know that," replied his friend. "But why did he let you go?"
"Jealousy," answered Pete. "All the other workers thought I was the foreman."

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